The role of jealousy in emotional turmoil and its remedy

 A significant cause of emotional turmoil is jealousy; It has important negative effects on the love relationship. 

Jealousy is a complex negative emotional response, manifested by the fear of losing a loved one, especially in a romantic relationship. 

This emotional response occurs in a person from any real or imagined uncertainty and insecurity.

It is accompanied by other emotional feelings, such as anxiety, upset, anger, hatred, regret, complaint, bitterness, violence, etc. 

The jealous person does not live well and does not allow the people around him to live happily.

Many use the words jealousy and envy as synonyms; Because people have almost the same experience with these two.

 But there are some special differences between these two emotional responses. Jealousy is to suffer and doubt in uncertainty from the fear of losing the person you love.

 Some of the most common things associated with jealousy are fear of losing, mistrust and doubt, being angry, suffering from uncertainty and insecurity, feeling low self-esteem and suffering from loneliness.

Violence, on the other hand, is the feeling of being overwhelmed by the pros and cons of others and the intense desire to get what is not in oneself. 

Some of the most common things associated with violence are feeling inferior, humiliated, interested in improving, expecting attractive qualities in oneself, suffering dissatisfaction with not getting approval from others, and being upset about the success of others.

Jealousy occurs in very significant and intimate relationships, where three people are usually related, such as the person who is feeling jealous, being jealous for the person, and the person being considered rival. 

And violence usually occurs between two people or with a person and object. Jealousy and violence can occur in different ways such as:

In the case of a romantic relationship: being jealous of another's advantages, admiration, money, work, etc., more than one partner. 

Being jealous of another person for fear of losing your partner.

At work: jealousy over the distribution of work with colleagues, respect or promotion, jealousy of someone over their own dominance to the boss.

In the case of friendship: jealousy over the comparison of success, jealousy of the third person for fear of losing a close friend.

In the family: jealousy of success or career between husband and wife, jealousy of siblings, jealousy of younger siblings (fear of losing their affection from parents).

Pathological jealousy

Jealousy may have a natural connection with any relationship or love affair, but when it severely affects a person's thoughts, feelings, and behavior and severely damages a person's normal relationship and way of life, it can lead to mental illness, called abnormal jealousy or pathological jealousy . 

Pathological jealousy is also known as morbid jealousy, delusional jealousy or Othello syndrome. 

It differs from normal jealousy in terms of its intensity and rationality.

 There can be natural jealousy in a person when something really happens to distrust his partner. 

But pathological jealousy means not only disbelief, but also intense levels of disbelief and irrational suspicion, which disrupt a person's normal life.

There are some types of pathological jealousy or delusional jealousy. 

It can be a single disorder as a ‘delusional disorder-jealous type’ or it can also be a syndrome of psychotic disorders such as schizophrenia, paranoid, psychosis, personality disorder, etc. 

Another type of jealousy outside of delusional jealousy is 'obsessive jealousy', where a person is afraid of losing his partner to the thought of an imaginary opponent. 

Although he has no evidence to distrust his partner and he himself realizes that it is unreasonable thinking. 

Yet he is always preoccupied with this thought and cannot remove it from his mind even if he wants to, for which he suffers from great discomfort and instability and normal life is disrupted.

Some symptoms of pathological jealousy

  1. The partner always suspects that other partner is related to someone else.
  2. Making false accusations and insults without any evidence and looking for excuses for jealous behavior.
  3. Distrusting your partner and asking in detail about his activities throughout the day, where he/she is, who is with him/her, what he is doing, etc.
  4. Checking your partner's mobile, e-mail, etc. without permission and responding to calls from any phone number.
  5. To prevent him/her from using the social media (such as Facebook, Twitter, Messenger, etc.) and to keep him/her away from his/her family, friends and relatives.
  6. Verbal and physical aggression against the partner and who he/she thinks as his/her opponent.
  7. Threatening to harm others or oneself.
  8. Denying one's own jealous behavior.

Causes of pathological jealousy

Pathological jealousy is usually associated with other mental illnesses such as schizophrenia, anxiety disorder, personality disorder (such as paranoid, dependent and borderline personality disorder). 

In the case of any mental illness, the person is already in a fragile state, which is a result of one's childhood experience. 

When a person does not trust someone in parenting in childhood, he/she suffers from insecurity and the fear of being alone works in him/her, which can make him/her jealous later on. 

These people suffer from inferiority complex and lack self-esteem due to lack of self-confidence. 

There is always a fear of moving away from people close to him/her.

 In addition, the departure or deception of a loved one in adolescence or adulthood can lead to mistrust and suspicion in a person, and it can also be due to extra anxious reasons, which lead to jealousy.

Remedy and prevention

Delusional jealousy is a type of psychotic disorder that is treated primarily through psychiatric medicine and obsessive jealousy is treated through cognitive behavior therapy and psychiatric medicine.

 In addition to psychiatric medicine, it is also treated through family therapy, couple therapy and individual therapy. 

Psychiatrists, clinical psychologists and counseling psychologists provide treatment for pathological jealousy.

Ways of remedy and prevention

  1. Trying to understand the partner's point, which seems to be pushing him away.
  2. Working to improve one's self-esteem and make oneself valuable to one's partner.
  3. Trying to understand the whole thing without any doubt centering on one thing.
  4. Expressing personal feelings directly to the person around whom jealousy is being created and discussing the problem openly.
  5. To be honest with each other, to show respect and to find out if there is any reason to doubt.
  6. Focusing on one's own work, caring for oneself and the people you love, and setting limits on the freedom of both.
  7. Improving the relationship by finding out if there are any gaps in the relationship and filling them.
  8. Learning to wait and control anger without any immediate negative emotional response.
  9. Giving the partner the opportunity to express his or her own views.
  10. Discuss issues or doubts with a trusted friend or well-wisher.
  11. Relax and practice mindfulness therapeutic techniques to calm and stabilize yourself.
  12. Taking the help of psychiatrists and clinical psychologists in the treatment of pathological jealousy.

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